How de Blasio can win

Everyone is writing off New York Mayor Bill de Blasio's presidential campaign as a joke.

Four years ago, they laughed at another New York politician who decided to run for president.

OK, former Governor George Pataki's campaign went nowhere fast, and he withdrew on December 29, 2016.

But this time it is different.

With just a few tweaks, the Not Gay Mayor could be the Democrat nominee.

First, Democrats look weak on national defense. Arnold Schwarzenegger called them girly men. The mayor, though, has a killer reputation that he should use.

That's right, during the first debate he should look the camera in the eye and declare that he will treat America's enemies as if they were groundhogs.

Then there is the Hispanic vote. The Fake Hispanic has not excited Hispanics, and the Real Hispanic is doing worse.

Again, the mayor has a good track record that he can build on. He can offer to do for the country what he did for himself.

That's right, change its name.

Welcome to Estados Unidos de America, bro.

Then there is fiscal integrity. Mayor de can tell Americans that like President Trump, he will give his presidential salary back to the government. Instead he will live on the bribes and gifts he receives from donors.

He is a man of integrity, who when bought stays bought.

Then there is transportation. Forget high-speed trains, electric cars, and Smart cars.

de Blasio can do for the nation what he did for Gotham, and install free bicycle racks across the USA. This will mean more jobs for the bicycle and less use of oil. This will be a Schwinn-Schwinn situation for everyone.

I don't see de Blasio as a joke. I see him as an improvement over Sleepy Creepy Joe because unlike Biden, the mayor only accepts American bribes paid by Americans to get things done under the American table for real Americans.

None of that monkey business with Ukraine or Red China when they nominate Paid Bill.