Trees commit hate crime

On February 18, Darnell Byrd-McPherson, mayor of Lamar, South Carolina, population 987, told the world that she was the victim of a hate crime. Someone had spread a yellow substance on her two cars in the middle of the night.

The mayor, who is African-American, was puzzled by this.

"I have a good reputation. I have never been subjected to something like this," she told Newsweek.

Police investigated and discovered the culprit.

Trees.

The trees spread pollen on the cars.

Darlington County Sheriff’s Office Lieutenant Robby Kilgo told Newsweek, "We found it to be pollen. There was no reason for us to collect a sample."

Newsweek reported, "Though the possibility was raised that the car’s mysterious coating could have been pollen and not the result of foul play, McPherson remained convinced someone was behind it."

Which is odd since her original statement in February stated, "The incident happened last night. Even though I drove my car today, I thought it was pollen. My husband and our neighbor noticed the cars looked like someone had spray painted on both our vehicles, which were parked in our front yard."

But she quickly added, "As an aside, during the 70s, crosses were burned in the yard of our home when my Mother was involved with the civil rights movement. On this very same corner in this very same front yard!"

Indeed, in 1970, Lamar was a hotbed of hatred as a group of white people attacked school buses carrying black kids to desegregate the schools. This must have terrified her as a child.

But 1970 was nearly 50 years ago.

The men in their 30s then are in their 80s now. A new generation replaced them, and a new generation replaced the replacements. People change.

And pollen happens.