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Thursday, March 07, 2019

Trees commit hate crime

On February 18, Darnell Byrd-McPherson, mayor of Lamar, South Carolina, population 987, told the world that she was the victim of a hate crime. Someone had spread a yellow substance on her two cars in the middle of the night.

The mayor, who is African-American, was puzzled by this.

"I have a good reputation. I have never been subjected to something like this," she told Newsweek.

Police investigated and discovered the culprit.

Trees.

The trees spread pollen on the cars.

Darlington County Sheriff’s Office Lieutenant Robby Kilgo told Newsweek, "We found it to be pollen. There was no reason for us to collect a sample."

Newsweek reported, "Though the possibility was raised that the car’s mysterious coating could have been pollen and not the result of foul play, McPherson remained convinced someone was behind it."

Which is odd since her original statement in February stated, "The incident happened last night. Even though I drove my car today, I thought it was pollen. My husband and our neighbor noticed the cars looked like someone had spray painted on both our vehicles, which were parked in our front yard."

But she quickly added, "As an aside, during the 70s, crosses were burned in the yard of our home when my Mother was involved with the civil rights movement. On this very same corner in this very same front yard!"

Indeed, in 1970, Lamar was a hotbed of hatred as a group of white people attacked school buses carrying black kids to desegregate the schools. This must have terrified her as a child.

But 1970 was nearly 50 years ago.

The men in their 30s then are in their 80s now. A new generation replaced them, and a new generation replaced the replacements. People change.

And pollen happens.

31 comments:

  1. For the Left, we are still in the depths of the Depression, and slaves are still sold on the town square every Saturday, weather permitting.

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    1. Well said! Don, you need to steal this line and use it often.

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  2. I believe the bit about crosses being burned in her yard as much as I believe that the pollen was a hate crime.

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    1. Yes-- and supposedly multiple "crosses" (plural), more than one incident.

      What a poison this identity politics is. Pushed by Marxists, to create resentments and divide America. You can't have a "revolution" in a country that is contented. What a poison this has been to race relations, which were developing in a good trajectory before the Left focused in on cultivating race resentment. (And every other type of resentment.)

      Poison, poison.

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    2. My thoughts too Doc. Not flossing over the 50 year ago problems, but I wonder if she was even born then.

      Everyone or their parents marched at Selma. Bathhouse Barry, born Years before, said his birth was directly related to the events at Selma.

      Everyone or their parents was a freedom rider.

      Everyone or their parents had crossed burned in their yard.

      Suuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuure.

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    3. It's kind of like so many veterans of Viet Nam were special forces.

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  3. The opportunities for snark are too strong to resist...

    “I think that I shall never see
    A thing as racist as a tree”

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  4. It almost seems like Democrat politicians view the "hate crime" gambit as a resume enhancer that adds to their creds.

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  5. Was the tree wearing a MAGA hat?

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  6. Yes, it was a white oak wearing a MAGA hat.

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  7. Everyone, and I mean everyone in the southeast part of America is fully aware of what pine pollen looks like. This was not a mistake.

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  8. I understand science classes do a world of good.

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  9. Maybe it was those Russian hookers again, and Trump hired them to pee on cars this time.

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  10. Liberals take every opportunity possible to find an issue when there isn't one. We see pollen on our cars in the spring with no trees close to us, you know what it called, nature at work. I guess nature should be blamed for hating liberals, maybe it's working for the white house.

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  11. The silver maples around our home must be Russian because they drop those reddish buds everywhere. It's Trump's fault.

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  12. In related news the Southern Poverty Law Center has placed Mother Nature on its list of white nationalist terrorists.

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  13. EVERYTHING is a "racial whine" crime to a black. they WON'T LET ANYONE 'not' notice their black skin, (or in Will Smith's case, his NOT BLACK ENOUGH skin), color. Even Nature itself is OUT TO GET BLACKS because they ARE blacks... Nature HATES black people. These people are SERIOUSLY lacking in sentience....

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  14. Wouldn't Alex Haley be astonished? We have gone form 'ROOTS' to 'POLLEN'.

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  15. Eeeeny meeeny miny Moe? I will speak to God and ask him WHY did he target those poor limited intelligence people for pollenating? In God's defense though I have to ask what those people did to P.O. God for him to viciously attack them with hordes and masses of pollen like that.. I suppose I ought to ask if maybe it was a black oak tree just trying to mate with them by mistake.... It's as plausible as their own take on it....

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  16. I live ina town that has several varies of Oak, the here is the ubiquitous Ponderosa pine.LOlots of tree hate around here come spring..

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  17. If she has lived in this area or on this corner for 30 years she knew it was pollen. She wanted attention.

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  18. The tree is innocent. It was the work of the BeeBeeBee.

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  19. People are responsible for the poop of their dogs. Why aren't they responsible for the activities of their trees? Every fall my yard is carpeted with oak leaves. However, there are no oaks on this property. All these leaves have blown over from the trees of others. Then I must rake them up and am forbidden to burn them. This is just so wrong. I guess I'll have to contact Madam Pelosi and see if there's some kind of legislative that can be taken about this situation.

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  20. Some people want to be victims. I have experienced 'reverse racism' in the school I taught in when we had a black woman principal. It was scary to have paranoia and intimidation as a working environment. I just stopped talking to friends and co-workers that year in any open place-any comment could turn into 'Why didn't you tell me first" and an offer to 'forgive' 'this time'and of course the insinuation of racism. We all stopped talking, so I didn't know until later it wasn't just me. She was only there one year luckily, then 'promoted' out of administration of schools. It's what they had to do. Good luck to this town.

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  21. Trees: hating people one car at a time

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  22. God help her if a swarm of bees lands on the car to gather the pollen.

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