Whoa, mama. Time to MAMA.
Make American Movies Adequate Again.
I propose Will Smith reprise his role as Marine pilot Steven Hiller and do a sequel to the 1996 film, "Independence Day," you know the one where aliens invade the Earth and Captain Hiller leads the charge to fight back.
This time he's a senator which means he has something far more powerful than an F/A-18.
He has the chairmanship on the Senate Committee on Health, Education, Labor, and Pensions (HELP), which means he can craft federal legislation.
When scientists learn that
The heat from the death rays aimed at the poles will cause the planet to get hotter, which means heavier snowfall as well as the end of snow.
Senator Hiller devises a clever plan for stopping the CO2ians. Instead of a military confrontation, the United States will alter itself.
Senator Hiller proposes a 21-step plan that includes putting solar panels on roofs, ending nuclear power, and banning all air travel and cars for everyone except celebrities and government employees.
His plan includes imposing carbon taxes, raising a 70% tax on income, and building a train from Los Angeles to Hawaii.
His best line is when he holds his nose, waves his arm, and says to his chief of staff (Tommy Lee Jones), "Whew, those cow farts are awful. Can't we just tax them out of existence like we did the coal industry?"
But while he is saving the Earth, the Constitution throws him a curve ball. Tax bills must originate in the House, and the chairwoman of its Ways and Means Committee (Rebel Wilson) is a *gasp* Republican.
Can Senator Hiller win her over, save the planet, and impeach the Orange Man in time?
The big question is will people go see it? They'd do it for Randolph Scott.
Don has a secret career advising Hollywood on film plot development. Our mole single handedly bringing down the moguls.
ReplyDeleteIt's a nasty, dirty, loathesome job, where anyone doing it has to deal with nasty, dirty, loathesome Hollywood people- but I sure wish SOMEBODY would do it, Hollyweird plots have sucked so bad for so long!
DeletePoor Follywood, the folks on the left are dividing their resources between so many pet projects from green unreliable energy to baby slaughter on demand that they cannot fill the void created because people like me won't watch their garbage anymore. They should give up on feature films and go with infomercial length HiLlARy or Camel ass endorcements.
ReplyDelete*chorus*RAAANDOOLLPH SCOOTT!*chorus*
ReplyDelete-Mikey NTH
Cows don't fart they can't! Ask a farmer.
ReplyDeleteNobody better talk about termite farts.
DeleteAOC said they do, and that ends all debate.
DeleteConfidence Trumps Intellect, in that world.
According to Popular Science they do. In any case, their manure releases methane gas. It would be great if we could somehow collect that methane for other uses.
DeleteDemCong fart. but they like the way it smells. Smells like smug.
DeleteThe movie will be a flatulence bomb. Well earned.
ReplyDeleteIs Hollyweird still a thing? I used to love movies but don't even know who the stars are anymore.
ReplyDeleteI have bought a few from the $5 bin at Walmart. I hate to say this (not really) but the actors and actresses in most movies today are totally not likeable. I find myself rooting for them to be killed most of the time.
ReplyDeleteFor a palate-cleanser, here's one that I enjoyed very much; it's quite modern, being from 1939, and I found it delightful. Oh, and I love the cars & trucks too!
DeleteI like the window into times past that it and others like it give me; I feel much more at home in that country of the past than I do in the here-and-now, and don't need to wash the filth off after the film like I do with modern movies.
Nancy Drew... Reporter (1939)
https://youtu.be/40o3Yvcu3YI
Blazing Independence!
ReplyDeleteI wonder how many of your readers get the Randolph Scott reference. I do having watched him many Saturdays at the local theater. Back in the day.
ReplyDeleteEskyman = Escanaba man?