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Friday, February 08, 2019

Jeff Bezos becomes TDS poster boy

The richest man in the world cheated on his wife, got caught, and stands to lose at least half his online retail empire.

Jeff Bezos blames his woes on President Donald John Trump because the National Enquirer exposed the affair.

Bezos owns the Washington Post, so he knows stories don't appear in the newspaper without an ulterior motive. Every story in his newspaper is designed to attack, ridicule, and belittle the American president because his America First crimps the plan to make Amazon global.

Media-ite quoted a Washington Post reporter, Manuel Roig-Franzia, who told MSNBC that had “spoken extensively” with the head of Bezos’ investigation, security consultant Gavin de Becker.

“They have begun to believe, the Bezos camp, that this publication by the National Enquirer might have been politically motivated,” Roig-Franzia said.

“Gavin de Becker told us that he does not believe that Jeff Bezos’s phone was hacked. He thinks it’s possible that a government entity might have gotten hold of his text messages.”

Liberals will line up behind Bezos. They will do his bidding because he is a rich and powerful man. He looks like Daddy Warbucks and thinks like Stalin. What is not for the American communists not to like?

Look for Democrats to get Bungling Bob Mueller to investigate.

Old: Russian collusion.

New: Bezos confusion.

That Bezos believes in a free press about as much as he believes in marital fidelity is no surprise. Like Donald Trump, Bezos cheated and got caught. Like Donald Trump, Bezos is going to have to pay. Unlike Donald Trump, Bezos is blaming a government conspiracy for his troubles.

All this because Bezos was too cheap to get a prenuptial agreement before he wed.

24 comments:

  1. They were married in '93, I think. Probably before Bezos was super-rich.

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    1. Yep. They married a year before Amazon was founded. Can't have a pre-nup covering 'If I become super wealthy in the future my wife can't have any."

      Since no pre-nup, and they live in a community property state, Mrs. Bezos is entitled to half Mr. Bezos' Amazon stock, and I hope she gets it.

      Delete
    2. You are correct. Shoulda checked. Sorry.

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    3. Yep lived in Wa. Had a friend of
      mine get cleaned an fried by his ex in Wa state..
      looks like Bezos is getting breaded and gutted and the oil is hot..

      Delete
  2. I'm certain she's suing the BEjeZOS out of him!

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  3. The new cross - eyed plastic Barbie is the leaker. Bezos is delusional if he thinks it's anyone else. I hope he loses the cloud contract with DoD over this, because he's really (literally ) screwed the pooch this time.

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    1. Yup, she is the source and she hasn't been very careful about these sexts. She was showing them off to her friends during lunch at a restaurant.

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    2. *Literally* screwed the pooch? Are you suggesting the Enquirer has pictures of Bezos engaging in bestiality?

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  4. Do you suppose this is what Rep Schiff meant when he said he'd be investigating Trump's business dealings outside of Russiagate? Where'd the Enquirer get those photos?

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  5. Never photograph your Johnson. Never, ever, ever. Don’t care how hot she is or if she’s asked you to. Never. Also, for Seth Rogen, never photograph your bunghole. Never, ever, ever.

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    1. Too late! All photographs of Seth Rogan show his bunghole, just from different angles.

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  6. Who will mock the “black helicopter” conspiracy theory nuts?

    And since when have the Dems and Republi-cons stood against Communism or “more flexibility” Russia?

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  7. Pride may come before the fall but entering into a radical feminist contract that's still called "marriage" for some reason certainly does too for males.

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  8. I have never understood why people do that and then put the pictures out there on the internet. That is just willful stupidity.

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  9. Good heavens! How will he ever survive if he has to give her half? We'll have to either take up a collection or put up a "Go Fund Me" page.

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  10. George Burns once explained Community Property to Gracie Allen when she complained on their show that she only ever got 25% of their income.

    George: "Community Property means that half of what I have is yours, and half of what you have is mine. Look, here's a dollar in change. Now half of what I have is yours. So here's fifty cents. Now half of what you have is mine. How much have you got?"

    Gracie: "Fifty cents".

    George: "Half of it is mine. So give me twenty-five cents. See how it works?"

    Gracie: "I see WHO it works. Let me start this time. Here's a dollar in change. Now half of what I have is yours, here's your fifty cents... now how did the rest of it go?

    George: "Half of what you have is mine. Hand it over."

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    1. Hey, that brought back fond memories, thanks! Loved that show.

      My mother was a lot like Gracie, who was known for her "illogical logic." Once my mum said, "It's further from way out there to here than it is from here to there." She was perfectly serious! Somehow that made sense to her, but it sure cracked up the rest of us!

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  11. Leftist Jeff Bezos (AMAZON, WASHINGTON POST) does TheWEINER !!!! As with ALL liberals, it's just a TEENY TINY THING they do !!!
    --MicahStone

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  12. I have, in the past, speculated that Trump was doing a rope-a-dope. His enemies have thrown anything and everything that they can find or manufacture at him. They are now disheartened, disorganized, and out of ammunition. They have started to eat their own. When the Meuller report fizzles it will mark the end of battlefield preparation.

    Trump has swum with the sharks for a half century. He has friends in low places. Bezos is just the opening salvo.

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    1. Yep. People forget (or just don't realize) that he worked in one of the most corrupt cities in the world. Between city hall, the statehouse, all the various mobs and unions (I may be repeating myself there), lawyers, and so forth, he's been in a swamp his entire business life.

      He knows what sharks look like.

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  13. To: All Amazon and Washington Post Employees

    From: Jeff Bezos

    As you know, the National Enquirer has pictures of my wedding tackle and they are threatening me with their release unless I abandon my role as a heroic teller-of-truth.

    Owning the Washington Post is a complexifier for me. But I would rather be complexified than to not be complexified. Or to be de-complexified. Or to be un-, dis- or mis-complexified. Am I making myself clear? Let me put it another way:

    I would rather make you look at photos of my junk than to stop publishing news leaked by John Brennan and editorials written by Qatar. That's just how I roll.

    ps: Whoever wrote "All pictures of Bezos are d*ck pics" in the executive washroom, I do not appreciate it.

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