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Saturday, February 09, 2019

Democrats will regulate cow farts

Democrat Congresswoman Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, D-N.Y., released her Green New Deal. Among other things, she would regulate cow farts.

Readers are wondering who would support regulating cow farts?

Four Democrat presidential contenders, that is who.

As soon as they sober Hillary up and run it by a focus group, we will get her reaction to the plan.

The Daily Wire reported, "Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez and her cohorts would prefer to eliminate the consumption of meat altogether and press for the full extinction of methane-farting livestock, but as they put it in the 'frequently asked questions' sheet, the prospect of banning meat is simply too overwhelming and likely impossible (even if 'impossibility' doesn't have an impact on any of their other proposals).

"Instead, the team settles for a vague overhaul of agriculture. But one that includes regulating cow farts."

Cow fart regulation is no more preposterous than the rainwater regulation that Obama imposed under his Waters Of The United States regulations. Never mind that the Constitution limits Congress to regulating navigable waters, both parties have regulated "intermittent streams" -- gullies.

The Green New Deal is loopier.

The Daily Wire reported, "The full elimination of all fossil fuel consumption, including natural gas, within the next ten years. This includes the full elimination of motor vehicles that operate on fossil fuels, including any vehicle with a combustion engine, be that vehicle a car, truck, boat, or plane. It's not super clear whether Ocasio-Cortez and her cohorts realize that electric cars also run on fossil fuels (the Green New Deal requires all parking lots to have electric vehicle charging stations, regardless)."

Democrats know that they are up against meat-loving Americans, and people who fly to Hawaii. Their plan said, "We set a goal to get to net-zero, rather than zero emissions, in 10 years because we aren't sure that we'll be able to fully get rid of farting cows and airplanes that fast."

That is an actual quote.

Nancy saved the party by shelving the plan.

For now.


  1. Good thing dinosaurs are extinct. Can you imagine the environmental havoc that a brontosaurus fart would wreak?

    1. Elephant, hippo and rhino farts keep Africa quite warm.

  2. Never fear.

    The taco twit is here!!!!

    She's here....

    She's there....

    She's everywhere....

    So beware.

    Deeply thrusting herself into every nook, cranny and fanny of the Uniparty, our MAGA butterfly deftly applies her magical MAGA powers.

    Who can resist her?

    Who can maintain?

    Resistance is futile!!!!

    There's just too much strain!!!!

    She floats and she flutters

    She weeps and she shudders (no, not that creepy as fuck clinton shoulder spasm!!!)

    She swoops in and out

    And, my word, does she pout!!!

    Yes, my deep cover vixen

    So feisty at mixin'

    Is doing the job!!!!

    Has there ever been a more perfect butterfly????

    1. Someone saved my life tonight
      You almost had your hooks in me
      Didn’t you Trump?
      You nearly had me roped and tied
      Carbon-bound, hypnotized
      Sweet Alex whispered in my ear
      “You’re a butterfly
      And butterflies are free to fly
      Fly away!”

      Meanwhile, 30 below in MT. Cow farts are freezing upon expulsion. I’m going to Montana soon, To be a frozen fart tycoon...



    4. Posting a comment of only a link.

      A link that is impotent, aka, inactive, when posted as a comment.

      Thus, relying upon the less cautious to copy/paste link to browser.

      Impotency defined.

      Ya got something to say, say it.

  3. Shallow boats cannot sail deep seas.

  4. We’ll let the Alexa Occasional-Cortex mob install the regulator valve.

    Ever fixed cow colic? Eeww!

  5. ...and raise you up a crop of dental floss?

  6. Perhaps we should buy "stock" in Beano. I imagine large doses could be fed to non-aborted cows.

  7. You guys are too funny

  8. Ever hear of the carbon cycle? Or don't they teach that in grade school anymore?

  9. Suppose we put pilot lights on cow cabooses? The methane would be instantly converted to carbon dioxide.

    1. And the cow would be launched toward the moon. A win-win for all concerned.

  10. This comment has been removed by the author.

  11. And what about human produced methane? People who eat a lot of beans, ahem, you know who, produce huge amounts!

  12. "The green new deal is exactly the kind of action it will take to conquer the biggest threat of our lifetime." I agree, Americans with half a brain will vote these commie owned scum off the planet if they do this. Unfortunately we still have the chamber of communists owning the votes needed for repeal. We need to end Tom Donahue's strangle hold on feeedfr.

  13. The Burning Question: WHO will be Secretary of Flatulence? That's the question Mark Steyn asked and must be answered!!

  14. "Green New Deal"= "Serf's Up!"
    Oregon slavers this ieda there is
    enough Stalinists in this state to
    get rid of all non organic farming and jail "Kulaks"
    One rancher I know was called a "Kulak" by a greenie because she raised Angus cows...

  15. I don't understand. Why would we all need a free college education when we'd be reduced to the level of hunter-gathers, sitting barefoot around a campfire nibbling roots and grubs?

  16. Juuuuust Wait. Wait until the Collectivists find out that termite farts are much much worse than Cow Farts. Oy. They will mandate that all fallen biomas (dead trees in the woods) be removed and eradicated (using taxpayer dollars). I'm gonna buy more Orvil Popcorn Stock.

  17. Cows are meat, milk, cheese, gelatin, leather, bone meal, etc, so actually they'll regulate food, shoes, and calcium supplements. Hello socialism.

  18. Just this morning- sigh- I got the news that Harrison Ford is on board the Climate Change Krazy Klown Kar, and "has delivered a stark warning about the impact of climate change."

    I sure wish actors would keep their pieholes shut, when they emit gaseous emissions it puts me off their movies!

  19. Just more proof for me that the leftist have no rational thought process, they have been dumbed down so far in many schools and it shows.
    The Green New Deal is not only laughable but telling.

  20. I just saw the movie "Top Gun" again and now I have the solution - put afterburners on the stern end of all the cows!

    Whoops - and all the bulls and all the cows that identify as bulls. and bulls that identify as cows, ...

  21. Well, Rich, Queen Snowflake has forgotten one small item: Free men and women are entitled - hell, some would say, EXPECTED - to rise up and overthrow illegitimate governments “ becomes necessary.” Count me in. I’d off 10-20 Pajama Boys before my morning scheise, and then go from there.

    1. They will have their own "yellowjackets'
      to contend with or more like Hornady er. Hornets, yeah, hornets..

  22. I think the reason they are so against cow farts is because the cows farting sound smarter than the average intellectual liberal.
    To paraphrase what Reagan once said, "It isn't that AOC doesn't know anything, it's that every thing she knows is wrong."

  23. I'm a Beefmaster. I have a 12 gauge shotgun ready for the dems who come sneaking through the herd lifting the cows tails. Already had that issue with some of those moon cult folk.

  24. All the cattle emissions in the world don't do a tiny fraction of the damage that emissions from politicians' pie holes do.

  25. I read somewhere that scientist tried to give cows colonoscopy-prep treatment, and then fecal transplants from kangaroos. Seems kangaroo plop doesn't emit methane the way cow plop does. Well the cows were plopping as scheduled. But when the cow plop from the improved cow digestive tracts were applied to the research station vegetable garden, they had an unexpected result. seems those eating the veggies started elongating their vowels, a la Aussie speak. Y'know, the whole "Good day, mate" business. Not elegant sounding at all.

  26. I'm beginning to think the MSM/Pelosi wing of the party purposely wanted AOC to make an ass of herself and discredit the ultra left in the process. They can't expect all of their energy lobbyists and business interest to sign on to their own destruction. This is to put the ultra left in its place. Watch how quickly it dies off once the MSM have another "crisis" to yell about.