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Monday, January 28, 2019

Why we must save BuzzFeed

The hard-hitting journalism of BuzzFeed is vital to the republic. They say the nation cannot survive without their work.

Consider these scoops that BuzzFeed broke over the last few days.

At 12:16 p.m. today, Clarissa Passos posted this breaking news, "This Opening Credits Scene Quiz Will Separate The Real TV Fans From The Rest."

At 3:06 a.m. today, Cee Chandra broke this two-bit town wide open with "Only A True 'Parks And Rec' And 'The Office' Fan Will Get 7/9 Or Above."

Sunday at 9:16 p.m., Crystal Ro showed gumshoe reporting is not dead with "Build A Bibimbap Bowl And We'll Reveal Your Creative/Logical Percentage: A window to your Seoul food."

That came a half hour after at Matt Kiebus asked the question no one would dare ask the president at a press conference, "Who Actually Played These Iconic Comic Book Characters Best?"

Earlier, Andrew Ziegler and Dave Stopera reported another exclusive, "These 20 Trivia Questions Will Separate The Millennials From The Gen Z'ers."

Five groundbreaking stories by six highly trained journalists dedicated to ferreting truths that no one else will find for readers.

Take Jasmin Nahar, who is based in London. In the last five days she has shared with readers, "22 Things About Women In Movies That Are Seriously Unrealistic," "23 Movies From Your Childhood That You Forgot Existed But Will Immediately Remember," "14 Times Movie Magic Had You Thinking Something Was CGI When It Wasn't," "Everyone's Personality Matches One Of These 6 Sitcoms – Which One Are You?" "Eat Your Way Around The U.K. And We'll Tell You Which British City To Move To" and "Okay Guys, It's Time For The Ultimate Asian Food Showdown."

What a shame that such fine, well-researched investigative reporting is at risk.

So informative.

So groundbreaking.

So much clickbait.

So what?


  1. It's BUZZfeed. You're supposed to read it when you're stoned.

  2. Never read 'em. Never will. - Elric

  3. Showdowns with Asian food. Asian food always wins. Or let's just say it wins whenever it wants to.

  4. In the meantime, as they coast on their white and Judeo-Christianized-society privs, the country of Zimbabwe is falling into despair. Venequela is hanging by a thread. The US steps a bit closer to irreconcilable differences.
    But Buzzfeed readers can just ignore it all, and live in their pampered but irrelevant little private world.

  5. Ah, BuzzFeed, the site that specializes in drivel. The intellectually challenged would pine away without the nothing stories.

  6. Thank you for doing that so we don’t have to

  7. Where was BuzzFeed when Nixon needed 'em?

  8. Maybe the laid off buzzfeeders can go to West Virginia to take classes in all those computer coding schools Hillary wanted.

  9. Let them write code, or something.

    1. For some odd reason they're sensitive about that, and the Twitstapo will ban people posting that advice on Twitter; so be careful.

      Apparently "trained journalists" can offer that advice to coal miners, but the reverse is abhorrent!

  10. You forgot my favorite story.

    You're going to love this one weird trick that magically cuts your payroll by 15%.

  11. I remembered Fern Gully (Avatar pre-lude) and Mouse Hunt and Small Soldiers; I couldn't complete the quiz cuz I don't watch Netflix, and...

    ...that was a trick, wasn't it? I wasn't supposed to go there, was I?

    Except for the "One weird trick" articles, 'natch.

  12. Buzzfeed needs to go full Diply with articles like 'Ten Child Stars Who Quir Acting When They Grew A Third Breast'.
    That alone may save them.
    Then again... WGAF?