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Monday, December 17, 2018

Other Christmas songs to ban

A radio station in California generated a lot of cheap publicity by banning “Baby It's Cold Outside” in deference to the Me Too movement.

The ban triggered the inner snowflake of a college professor in Long Island who wants to ban "Rudolph The Red-Nosed Reindeer," saying it promotes bullying. Actually, the song is anti-bullying because it shows that oddballs have something to offer, too.

But there are plenty of other songs that snowflakes could push to ban.

"White Christmas." If that doesn't scream white supremacy, nothing does.

"The Christmas Song." It begins, "Chestnuts roasting on an open fire," which is a heartless rebuke of those with chestnut allergies.

"Let It Snow." It is an outrageous denial of climate change.

"Santa Claus Is Coming to Town." It normalizes a police state for children. "He sees you when you're sleeping"? Santa is a voyeur.

"Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas"? Seriously? It includes the line, "Through the years we all will be together, if the fates allow." How dare it mock the terminally ill!

"Frosty the Snowman." With his "corncob pipe," he promotes smoking among children.

"It's The Most Wonderful Time Of The Year." Well, only if you are a sexual predator because the lyrics include, "There'll be much mistle-toeing."

"A Holly Jolly Christmas." Another mistletoed song. "Kiss her once for me" encourages treating women inappropriately.

"You're a Mean One, Mr. Grinch." It demonizes non-Christians "as cuddly as a cactus" and "as charming as an eel" and "a three-decker sauerkraut and toadstool sandwich with arsenic sauce."

Finally, there is "Grandma Got Run over by a Reindeer."

A perfect song that promotes drinking responsibly, taking your medication, and euthanizing the elderly.

$$$$

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19 comments:

  1. It's not enough that they secularized it, now they want to remove it from our psyche.
    They want no mention of Christ, no thoughts about GOD. They want to reign supreme and lord over us like wise and spiteful privileged kings.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Exactly, the leftists want to be God to everyone and rake in the big bucks in their offering plates at their Church of The Satanic Left.

      Delete
  2. Those whose ideologies don't let them build good things -- want to destroy the good built by others.

    Let them create their own songs, for Christmas, winter, or whenever -- and let Free Men decide which songs they like to listen to, or not.

    ReplyDelete
  3. My two staples are Gene Autry's Christmas and Elvis Presley's albums. Over the years I have become fond of Bob Rivers' Twisted Christmas albums. Warning: If you listen to them the old Christmas songs will never be the same. - Elric

    ReplyDelete
  4. "Chestnuts roasting on an open fire," All these years I thought this was a sadistic song to sing at Christmas. I am glad you spelled it out. I thought it was "Chet's nuts roasting on an open fire,"

    ReplyDelete
  5. Speaking of Grinches- how is Jim Carrey doing these days?

    Last I heard he was working on being "cuddlier than a cactus and charming as an eel" in his private life- but I would've said "charming as a death adder" myself, since he's poisonous.

    Oh, I see: he's just practicing for his role!

    ReplyDelete
  6. I was sure you were going to go a COMPLETELY different direction with "Chestnuts roasting on an open fire." After all, any song with a word combining "chest" and "nuts" ought to be banned for SOMETHING!

    Laura

    ReplyDelete
  7. What about Away In A Manger? Housing discrimination.

    O Little Town Of Bethlehem? Islamophobia.

    Hark! The Herald Angels sing? Anti-atheist.

    God rest Ye, Merry Gentlemen? Class warfare.

    Oh, the humanity!

    ReplyDelete
  8. "Deck the Halls" should be safe with its mention of "gay apparel".

    ReplyDelete
  9. Little Drummer Boy is sexist. Girls and xe’s can drum too.

    ReplyDelete
  10. ""The Christmas Song." It begins, "Chestnuts roasting on an open fire"
    Not to mention the carbon footprint!

    ReplyDelete
  11. I'll let the pretty lady explain it to you.
    https://www.facebook.com/NicoleArbourfans/videos/vb.6863782906/976920199174702/?type=2&theater

    ReplyDelete
  12. Rudolph, The Red Nose...shows this reindeer has a drinking problem.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Bob Rivers' Twisted Christmas:

      Teddy the red-nosed senator
      Had a very shiny car
      And if you ever saw it
      You were probably near a bar.

      - Elric

      Delete
  13. "I've Got Some Presents For Santa"

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?time_continue=155&v=7o9TaldKpE0

    she has a very sexy voice as she sings, here's the clean song lyrics:

    I've got some presents for Santa
    and he's got a big one for me
    While outside it snows
    I take off all my clothes
    and wait for Santa underneath my tree

    He squeezes into my hot chimney
    where it's oh, so warm and tight
    On the roof I hear his reindeer
    I'm so very glad he came here
    It's only once a year
    but..what a night

    (chorus:)
    Santa Claus takes a pause
    from his long night of delivering
    His big 'north pole'
    can sure get cold
    His jolly butt's all shivering

    I offer Santa my 'cookies'
    He loves to put them into his mouth
    His long beard tickles
    It gives me the giggles
    He finishes his snack
    and then flies South

    (chorus)

    Ooh! Santa! I love my present!
    What else is in that big bag of yours?

    Santa and I share a ciggie
    and I help him back into his red suit
    I know he has to go
    He just says, "Ho Ho Ho"
    I can't help it; he's so cute

    (chorus)

    I've got some presents for Santa
    and he's got a big one for me
    While outside it snows
    I take off all my clothes
    and wait for Santa
    I take off all my clothes
    I'm waiting for Santa
    underneath my tree

    ReplyDelete
  14. Clarence Carter - Back Door Santa (1968)

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?time_continue=125&v=s0NoalRsk5w

    he has a very sexy voice as he sings, here's the clean song lyrics:

    They call me Back Door Santa
    I make my runs about the break of day
    They call me Back Door Santa
    I make my runs about the break of day
    I make all the little girls happy
    While the boys are out to play
    I ain't like the old Saint Nick
    He don't come but once a year
    I ain't like the old Saint Nick
    He don't come but once a year
    I come runnin' with my presents
    Every time you call me dear
    I keep some change in my pocket, in case the children are home
    I give 'em a few pennies so that we can be alone
    I leave the back door open so if anybody smells a mouse
    And wouldn't old Santa be in trouble if there ain't no chimney in the house
    They call me Back Door Santa
    I make my runs about the break of day
    I make all the little girls happy
    While the boys are out to play
    That's what they call me, Back Door Santa
    That's what they call me
    They call me Back Door Santa
    That's what all the girls call me
    I give 'em all little presents
    That's what they call me
    They call me Back Door Santa
    And I like for them to call me that
    They call me Back Door Santa
    And I like it and I like it and I like it

    ReplyDelete
  15. Eartha Kitt - Santa Baby (Audio)

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mk_GmhD053E

    she has a very sexy voice as she sings, here's the clean song lyrics:

    Santa baby, slip a sable under the tree for me
    Been an awful good girl
    Santa baby, and hurry down the chimney tonight
    Santa baby, a '54 convertible too convertible too, light blue
    I'll wait up for you, dear
    Santa baby, so hurry down the chimney tonight
    Think of all the fun I've missed
    Think of all the fellas that I haven't kissed
    Next year I could be also good
    If you'll check off my Christmas list
    Santa baby, I want a yacht and really that's not a lot
    Been an angel all year
    Santa baby, so hurry down the chimney tonight
    Santa honey one thing I really do need, the deed
    To a platinum mine
    Santa baby, so hurry down the chimney tonight
    Santa cutie, and fill my stocking with a duplex and checks
    Sign your 'x' on the line
    Santa cutie, and hurry down the chimney tonight
    Come and trim my Christmas tree
    With some decorations bought at Tiffany
    I really do believe in you
    Let's see if you believe in me
    Santa baby, forgot to mention one little thing, a ring
    I don't mean on the phone
    Santa baby, and hurry down the chimney tonight
    Hurry down the chimney tonight
    Hurry, tonight

    ReplyDelete
  16. Christmas Tree On Fire · Holly Golightly

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?list=PLF8NWZUv7lcse5xe_TgVxZfZwnl8Sem-J&v=Qq9VlvfODn8

    she (country gal) has a very sexy voice as she sings, here's the clean song lyrics:

    The Christmas tree’s on fire
    it’s burnin’ down the house
    flames are gettin’ higher
    and I’m tryin’ to put it out
    I’m beatin’ it back with a tube sock and a cushion off the couch
    The Christmas tree’s on fire and it’s burning down the house.

    Valentine’s day, my boyfriend’s outta town.
    But he told me before he went last month, he said make sure you take it down
    He even called last week, and I told him I took it out, now the Christmas tree’s on fire and it’s burning down the house, yeah!

    The Christmas tree’s on fire
    it’s burnin’ down the house
    flames are gettin’ higher
    and I’m tryin’ to put it out
    I’m beatin’ it back with a tube sock and a cushion off the couch
    The Christmas tree’s on fire and it’s burning down the house.

    Break

    The thing it ain’t been watered, since I put it in the stand
    and I used the fire alarm battery for the flashlight in my van
    Now the flames, they’re all around me, and it’s bound to take my life
    Which might be a whole lot better than having to face my guy, oh my!

    The Christmas tree’s on fire
    it’s burnin’ down the house
    flames are gettin’ higher
    and I’m tryin’ to put it out
    I’m beatin’ it back with a tube sock and a cushion off the couch
    The Christmas tree’s on fire and it’s burning down the house.

    Well we put it up for Jesus
    It stood so tall and true
    Now it’s burning all I have
    And it’s taking me with it too

    ReplyDelete
  17. Jackson 5 - I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p10vnYDbZuQ

    this little boy witnesses his mother cheating with Santa Claus. (We know his Dad is dressed up as Santa, but the little boy doesn't!) As he emotionally sings, here's the song lyrics:

    I saw Mommy kissing Santa Claus
    Underneath the mistletoe last night.
    She didn't see me creep
    down the stairs to have a peep;
    She thought that I was tucked
    up in my bedroom fast asleep.

    Then, I saw Mommy tickle Santa Claus
    Underneath his beard so snowy white;
    Oh, what a laugh it would have been
    If Daddy had only seen
    Mommy kissing Santa Claus last night

    I saw Mommy kissing kissing Santa Claus
    I did I really did see mommy kissing Santa Claus
    And I'm gonna tell my daddy

    Then, I saw Mommy tickle Santa Claus
    Underneath his beard so snowy white;
    Oh, what a laugh it would have been
    If Daddy had only seen
    Mommy kissing Santa Claus last night

    Oh, what a laugh it would have been
    If Daddy had only seen
    Mommy kissing Santa Claus last night

    I did, I really did see mommy kissing Santa Claus
    You got to believe me, you just got to believe me
    Come on fellas

    ReplyDelete