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Tuesday, December 25, 2018

Day 4 of no government

The effects of the government shutdown have gone from bad to worse. Last night was eerily silent. Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse.

Facing starvation, people are getting desperate. Some people dreamed of snow falling today so they could have something to melt and drink.



Children hung stockings out in hopes that a strange benefactor would magically appear, and fill them with food.

Others put some of their milk and pastry rations out on the table in the hope of attracting the food-bearing stranger. It was a gamble taken because of hunger.

We went to bed early, but soon out on the lawn there arose such a clatter, I sprang from my bed to see what was the matter. I tore open the shutters and threw up the sash.

When what to my wondering eyes did appear, but a miniature sleigh and eight tiny reindeer.

I shouted from the window, "Get. Off. My. Lawn."

But in a world without a federal government, people lose respect for private property rights. I think some of the reindeer left calling cards.

This morning, I drove out. The streets were barren. All the shops and the restaurants were closed, even Tudor's.

I was literally shaking.

Everyone senses the anarchy that lurches like a troll on Twitter. The shutting down of the government has imperiled the nation like nothing before. This is worse than 9/11 or Pearl Harbor Day or Game 7 of the 1997 World Series.

Meanwhile, Bloomberg News reported that shutting down government means the government is not collecting money.

The news service quoted Gordon Gray, director of fiscal policy at American Action Forum, who said, "Museums are closed, so the government doesn’t sell freeze-dried ice cream."

No museums! No freeze-dried ice cream!

We are doomed.

34 comments:

  1. I'd make a comment but I'm too weak from hunger to type.

    ReplyDelete
  2. When you get your next paycheck look to see if there has been money withdrawn and sent to the government. If it still is, you know that a "shutdown" isn't really a "shutdown".

    Are they still charging sales taxes at the stores? Do we still pay federal gas tax at the gas stations?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Doc - the first level of collection is the business or employer. The real test will be when they have to send their collected taxes in to the Feds at month end.

      Delete
  3. This is a classic! Hopefully y’all can have a Merry Christmas while all around us is collapsing. As for me, I will stay barricarlded in my home and hope the power stays on.

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  4. I KNEW I bought that Mountain Home survival food for a reason! Freeze dried lasagna for Christmas!! Woo Hoo!!!

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  5. I noticed in my city that people were flocking to churches today! Praying, I guess, for an end to this horrific shutdown.

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    Replies
    1. Nah, keep the shutdown going. In fact expand it.

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    2. Too much Pork barrel spending, I agree.

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  6. Replies
    1. Can we risk it? With the goobermint shut down those air traffic controllers might get upset and make a little noise. Christmas Bells? That was a 747 colliding with an airbus.
      When thongs of illegals start rushing the border to get back to Mexico, I will consider joining them.
      Or not.

      Delete
    2. Thongs of illegals, Jeremy? Ew. Just ew. They haven’t been washed in weeks!

      Just funnin, bro. Merry Christmas!

      Delete
    3. As long as the thongs either 1, contain the illegal, or 2, drag his/her ass along, I don't care if they've been washed. It's not like I want to floss my tooth with them.

      Delete
  7. Merry Christmas Mr.Suber, and enjoy your freeze dried ice cream!

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  8. Best take on the shutdown EVER!!

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  9. If this keeps up, Trump will kill the threat of a government shutdown that causes Republicans to quake in their undies every time the Democrats bring it up to get what they want. Hoo hah. Trump wins again.

    Merry Christmas to everyone out there in Surberland. Pray for the USA and those who sacrifice each day to keep the rest of us safe.

    Iapetus

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  10. I cannot seem to get a comment posted .. so I am trying a reply option.

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  11. Every day government is in session, we lose a bit more of our personal freedom and prosperity. Their main gig is to rob us blind and take away our freedom as part of globalization. So ... rejoice, we are catching a break. Those are not being paid are leftist rats who work for government because no one else would hire them.

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  12. A Merry Government Shutdown Christmas to you, Don Surber! Thanks for a great blog!

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  13. Merry Christmas Don, and a Yuge thank you for all you do.
    Have a glass of dehydrated water to go with your freeze dried ice cream on me.

    ReplyDelete
  14. Ha! You made me recall my grandmother. She lived with one of my aunts, and my family was there on Christmas Eve. We were all sitting around in a food coma after dinner when suddenly Gram got up from her chair. She walked over to the fireplace, and drawing herself to her full 4' 11" height, looked up the chimney and yelled "I don't care who you are, fat man, get those reindeer off my roof". We all lost it. Thank you so much for all you do Don. I enjoy reading your work very much. Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!

    ReplyDelete
  15. 22.3 million employed by federal,state and local government in the United States. As reference - Texas has a population of 23,000,000.

    22.3 million people going to work producing more government while we have to import more workers to keep the private sector going so we can pay for the government sector. Keep it shut down.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Good grief! That's almost the entire population of Australia, and they're all government "workers."

      Long ago in California, gov't workers were told to stay home on a high smog day; it was delightful! Air was clearer, freeways were empty, it was marvellous.

      Dunno if they ever did it again, it worked far too well!

      Delete
  16. I heard a rumor that Whataburger would be open tomorrow. I pray that is true because I need a #4 cheeseburger.

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  17. There is a shutdown? I must have missed it. Never mind.
    Merry Christmas y'all

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  18. How will folks living at altitude cope without the Federal Bureau of High-Altitude Baking Enforcement? Who will pronounce on cooking above 5000 feet elevation?

    What happens if the stove is at 4990 feet, but the dining table is at 5010 feet? Which set of baking instructions do we use?

    Just yesterday, our hound dog stole and ate a cake baked at 4990 feet elevation and ran up the mountain.

    Poor critter done exploded.

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  19. Things were so bad here they didn't even deliver the mail. I fear for the future of the country. Orange Man Bad.

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  20. 4 days - I haven't missed the non-essentials. POTUS keep the shutdown going until the Wall is funded. Don't back off now.

    ReplyDelete
  21. 4 days? how about 10,950 days of no government, at least a government that works for the People!

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  22. I LIKE IT!
    =========================================
    You "tore open the shutters and threw up the sash"? I should be so lucky! I didn't even eat a sash to throw up.

    ReplyDelete
  23. The added benefit of the "shutdown" is that the longer the Dems stretch it...the more obvious it will become that all of the "missing" services are absolutely inane. It could provide incontrivable proof that we can eliminate a good deal of the federal juggernaut with NO ill effects to the country. Not that such proof ever matters, anyway...

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    Replies
    1. And if personnel are "non-essential," why are they there to begin with? - Elric

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    2. Speaking as a "non-essential" state employee... my job is absolutely necessary BUT not time-sensitive enough that a day or two is going to screw things up. If I'm at home, nobody's gonna die. Not like prison guards or hospital nurses or EMTs.
      I'm in accounting... Those billions of dollars in the retirement systems need to be kept track of, retirees need to be paid, taxes really must be remitted, but it's okay if it's tomorrow, so I'm "non-essential". Later than that, though, things start breaking down.

      Delete
    3. Nice try, numbnuts.

      You are a mere speck amongst a hoarde of specks.

      Not noticed either by your being present or being absent.

      A "few days" and things start to what, "break down"?

      Here's the break down, boo boo:

      The pilot of the plane is essential, as is the co-pilot.

      You are not the pilot.

      You are not the co-pilot.

      You are not even the stewardess.

      In fact, only you know what you are.

      So, what are you?

      Delete