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Monday, July 09, 2018

A world so crazy, The Onion must lay off satirists

University of Wisconsin students Tim Keck and Christopher Johnson founded the weekly newspaper, The Onion, to spoof the campus paper, The Union, in 1988.

The thing caught on, went national, and became an Internet sensation with its absurd takes on the news that made people laugh.

But 30 years later its latest owners are laying off staff.

"Univision will cut 15 percent of the staff at several publications where it owns a controlling stake, including satirical news site The Onion," The Hill reported.

We know why. The world is deteriorating so fast that it has become impossible to mock. What was once thought of as crazy is now the norm. This renders sites like The Onion as forecasters of the news, rather than mockers of the news of the day.

Uncle John's Bathroom Reader cited examples of "Life Imitates The Onion."

The Onion in 2013: "Scalia, Thomas, Roberts, Alito Suddenly Realize They Will Be Villains in Oscar-Winning Movie One Day."

Reality in 2015: "Movie studio Fox 2000 acquired the rights to a book called '21 Years to Midnight,' a book by Jim Obergefell, lead plaintiff in Obergefell v. Hodges, the case that led the Supreme Court to rule on the legality of same-sex marriage."

The Onion's track record for predictions is depressingly high. The laughs are dead. People now only go to the site to see what crap is going to happen next.

Headline: "Kid Who Mowed White House Lawn To Flip On Trump."

Oh crap.

So how do we rescue The Onion which nobody reads now that it has become the Oracle of where the cesspool sludge we call a society is headed?


Let people pay The Onion to include them in a satirical story. Think of all the women who would bid to become the grandmother in a story headlined, "Justin Bieber to Marry Area Grandmother."

My work here is done.


Please enjoy my books in paperback and on Kindle.

Trump the Press covers the nomination.

Trump the Establishment covers the election.

Fake News Follies of 2017 covers his first year as president.

For autographed copies, write me at


  1. With all due respect, most adored and respected purveyor of news, the election and president of the executive branch of government, one Donald J Trump is setting this world and this nation arright (though some large number of heads appear to have exploded)

  2. Uncle John’s Bathroom Readers are excellent reading.

    Liberalism is proof that truth is stranger than fiction. The Onion is suffering from that truth.

  3. Justin Beiber? Really? Is he still a thing?

  4. The real reason is that the owning interests now are SJWs. The original Onion was successful because it didn't care who it offended. Once it was bought by partisan SJWs it found it's writing nearly impossible due to the PC strictures now imposed.

    You aren't going to see any articles with hdadlines like: New President Feels Nation's Pain, Breasts, about Bill Clinton, or allusions to rug munching with Hillary. It's all anout hating on Republicans. So, just like SNL, it is going into the ash heap. Or money hole, if you prefer

    1. No money in ragging on conservatives.

      The people who want to read that crap are too cheap to pay for it.

  5. And yet, the Babylon Bee finds material (courtesy Wolf Howling at Bookwormroom):

    1. The Babylon Bee is successful not only because of their biting wit, but because it's a right-wing Christian outfit.

      Once The Onion was owned by Univision, they went downhill; like Teapartydoc says above, they can't say the funny stuff anymore, they have to be PC.

      Sadly for The Onion, PC isn't funny, and SJWs have no sense of humor.

  6. Comedy is dying. The Onion cuts are just another symptom of that.

    The problem is it is increasingly dangerous to do comedy about certain people or groups. If you say one wrong thing you could lose your job, your wife could lose hers, your kids could be hurt, your house burned down and in certain cases you could be murdered.

    Thus comedy these days tends only to be about safe topics - like Trump, conservatives and Christians, who are tolerant and tend not to react violently. Unfortunately for satirists it is difficult to satirize nice and decent people. Which just leaves Trump.

    And that is why comedy and satire is so much focussed on the Donald - there literally aren't many other safely satirizable targets.