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Sunday, March 04, 2018

"Nobody does self-deprecating humor better than I do."

Too bad they cannot televise last night's Gridiron dinner in Washington last night instead of the Oscars. President Trump apparently was at the top of his game.

He skipped last year's dinner.

He knocked it out of the park this year.

Via the White House pool report:
I know the Gridiron is really an old tradition in Washington, been around a long time, and one that’s important to many of you in the media. So, I was very excited to receive this invitation and come here and ruin your evening in person.
My staff was concerned heading into this dinner that I couldn’t do self-deprecating humor. They were worried about it. They said, ‘Can you do this?’ And I told them not to worry. Nobody does self-deprecating humor better than I do.
In fact, Orrin Hatch, Orrin said that ‘Donald Trump is the best at self-deprecating in the history of America, better than Washington and better than Lincoln.’
I have to tell you, in preparation, I did what any good late night comic would do these days. I called Chuck Schumer and I asked him for some talking points.
I also spoke to some of the funniest people around the White House starting with my number two, Mike Pence. Love you Mike. Some of you may think that Mike is not a comedian, but he is one of the best straight men you’re ever going to meet. He is straight!
America has a proud history of Treasury secretaries who sponsor the arts. Alexander Hamilton gave us so much. Andrew Mellon famously gave us the National Gallery—tremendous gift. Steve Mnuchin has given us the blockbuster movie ‘Lego Batman.’
Attorney General Sessions is here with us tonight. I offered him a ride over and he recused himself.
You, the New York Times are an icon. I’m a New York icon, you’re a New York icon, and the only difference is, I still own my buildings.
I especially have a place in my heart for Arthur Sulzberger. Our stories are almost mirror images. I inherited a million dollars from my father—had a great father—gave me a million dollars and I turned it into billions. True story. Arthur inherited billions of dollars and he turned his into millions. Hello Arthur.
And it’s been a very tough year. Jeff Zucker’s here. CNN, it lost a tremendous amount of credibility this year, but they also lost one of their true stars, the guy who got you the most scoops, inside info, your really very best reporter. There was nobody like him—Steve Bannon. That guy leaked more than the Titanic.
Now the question everyone keeps asking is, ‘Who’s going to be the next to leave? Steve Miller or Melania?’
I can tell you, despite what you’ve reported, we’ve had a lot of success this year. We really have. Tremendous. Our tax plan has been a tremendous victory. That is really turning out to be popular. Melania is even getting some major benefits from it. She can finally claim me as an adult dependent.
Before we go any further, I want to just discuss the big financial story of the week. Ever since we announced our new tariffs, which actually is very popular with people because they’re tired of getting ripped off, many dying American industries have come to the White House asking for protection. They want help. They need protection. Unfortunately, I’m sorry, I fear it may be too late for the print media.
Nancy’s worth tens of millions of dollars and she’s a populist. You know, she really considers herself that. And I really try to tell her that you can’t be a true populist unless you’re worth at least ten billion dollars. People like you better.
Many people have asked me how my time as a reality TV star prepared me for the presidency, the truth is there’s very little overlap between the two. Very little. In one job, I had to manage a cutthroat cast of characters desperate for TV time, totally unprepared for their jobs, and each week afraid of having their asses fired.
In the other job, I was the host of a smash television hit.
I know we all came here tonight to have fun and tell jokes, but I also think we need to discuss the issues. Issues are very important. For example, we’ve got a new plan to tackle global warming, one of my favorite subjects. We’re going to reduce the carbon footprint when we travel by shrinking the press pool so that we only have room for Sean Hannity, Lou Dobbs, and Judge Judy.
OK, he probably had some comic writers feed him some lines. Who knows, maybe Bannon helped.

But he put Jack Kennedy to shame last night.

His monologue places him in contention for a post-presidency gig: The Tonight Show starring Donald Trump


The media chose to go to war with Donald John Trump in 2017 rather than accept him as president.

The media chose poorly.

From Leslie Eastman's review at Legal Insurrection:
Surber, a recovering journalist with over 30 years of experience, has been cataloging the #FakeNews that has been regularly offered as serious analysis of President Donald Trump’s actions, policies, and opinions. He has brought his enormous collection together in the longest, most serious book he has yet written: Fake News Follies of 2017.
Fake News Follies of 2017 is available on Kindle and in paperback.

Autographed copies are available. Email me at for details. I am including a "director's cut." I will give you the original Chapter 1 that I cut because while the chapter was amusing, it really had nothing to do with the Fake News Follies of 2017.


  1. Ann Althouse caught this one:

    "This might be the most fun I’ve had since watching your faces on election night."

    -Mikey NTH

  2. "I still own my buildings." That one had to hurt. - Elric

  3. Great writing and perfect delivery! (Both Dons.)

  4. None of that will matter tomorrow morning, but those are some YUGE busts by Mr. T. He's back on his game.

  5. Better Steve Miller leaves than Melania; I really hope their marriage survives his presidency, both for their sake (and Barron's) and for the sake of the country, because the media would really lose it over that.

  6. The next to leave is going to be Ivanka.

    True story.

  7. The Donald makes Alec Baldwin look like a Marx Brother.


  8. Replies
    1. Heh. Nice one!
      At least (hopefully) 7 more years.

  9. Don ,talking about the Oscars.I said they take a crap movie and give it best picture.Well there is a place on the web where you can watch all the current movies.Well I got through about 45 minutes of a 2hr movie,before I thought I would loose my dinner."The Shape Of Water" is the worst piece of crap I have ever seen.Do not Waste you money or time.