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Thursday, May 11, 2017

Garrison Keillor's stark admission

Instapundit linked a James Lileks post on a Garrison Keillor column that contained a sentence that confirms my standing belief that liberals are totalitarian Marxists who want to control my life.

Ready for it?
At home I am an old liberal but out here at 2 a.m., I am all about freedom.
18 words.

One stark admission.

Liberalism is at odds with freedom.

After that stark admission, the rest of the column was a scatological attack on President Trump, and whining that the world changed.

From Garrison Keillor:
Meanwhile, you stop at the gas station/mall for coffee and are stunned by the sheer number of potato chip varieties: bacon, B-B-Q, blue cheese, green onion, balsamic, jalapeño, mesquite, garlic, guacamole, dill pickle, rockin’ picante, spicy Cajun, three cheese, Szechuan, sour cream, wavy mango, wasabi, BLT, plus “natural” and “old-fashioned” and “40% less fat” chips. A potato chip is a potato chip. Do we really need all this?
That is Keillor's version of Bernie Sanders wondering why we have 23 brands of deodorant.

Lileks mocked the elitism. He remembers when liberals pretended to be for the common man.

From Lileks:
Again, the guy’s got his thumb on the common carotid, no? You really get the sense of the delights and melancholy pleasures of a late-night drive through small-town America, no?
Speaking as someone whose family runs a gas station: The reason for the variety isn't because we need all this but because people want all this, and the store provides. If they don’t sell we don’t reorder.
Free choice?

The only choice old liberals want is for a woman to kill her baby.

By day, Keillor is an old liberal, telling the rest of the world how we should live our lives, as he nags about recycling, multicultural diversity, cultural appropriation, and how we must recognize gender in 57 varieties.

But at night he has sinful, fleeting thoughts of freedom -- and yet he wonders why people should be able to choose among bacon, B-B-Q, blue cheese, green onion, balsamic, jalapeño, mesquite, garlic, guacamole, dill pickle, rockin’ picante, spicy Cajun, three cheese, Szechuan, sour cream, wavy mango, wasabi, BLT, plus “natural” and “old-fashioned” and “40% less fat” potato chips.

A potato chip ees a potato chip, da, comrade?

Now excuse me. Time to pop the top down and head for the Speedway gas station/mall. I have a craving for bacon potato chips.
On November 8, 2016, the American people said, "Trump the Establishment!"

Now read the book that explains how and why the press missed this historic the election.

It is available on Kindle, and in paperback.

And then read the original, "Trump the Press," which chronicled and mocked how the media missed Trump's nomination.

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  1. Keillor is a jerk leftist. He left the small town in which he grew up for the Big City, and has been putting down his past ever since.

  2. Let us not forget Pringles. A day without Pringles is like...night. A little Steve Martin there. He's funny. Keillor is not. Not funny. He's sad, actually.

  3. You forgot at least one: Salt and vinegar chips

    1. Those are the best, but it has to be sea salt. Ordinary salt, like the kind we like to rub into the lib's wounds won't work.

  4. "Thumb on the carotid"? Any docs in his family? Most people don't use thumbs to take a pulse, but there's an old remedy for supraventricular tachycardia called carotid body massage where you RUB your thumbs in the area of the carotid bifurcation to slow the heart rate. When done emergently on an older person whose heart can't stand to go at high rates very long it can be life saving, but done too agressively can result in cardiac arrest. The last use of it I recall is my Dad doing it to a guy in the 1970s. He said my dad saved his life.

  5. In Venezuela, the common man wonders where he can get toilet paper, (Any kind) and maybe some canned food (any kind) for the familiy...

  6. BarBQ chips are my personal weapons of choice.

    You've got verve, Don Surber!

  7. Like you said, Don: Liberals - 'too many toothpaste and potato chip choices' & not enough gender choices.

  8. @ DC - Amen to that. Socialism is a crime against humanity.

  9. "Socialism is positive and aggressive, declaring that each man shall have enough.

    "It purposes to introduce new forces into society and industry; to put a stop to the idleness, the waste of resources, the misdirection of force, inseparable, in some large proportion of instances, from individual initiative; and to drive the whole mass forward in the direction determined by the intelligence of its better half. "

    It is just wasteful for there to be a variety to meet diverse desires. One potato chip to rule them all.

    The socialist methods of production are going to kick in any day now to raise the standard of living of the masses to that of the important office holders.

    No really, any day now. Then....utopia.

  10. I wouldn't call him an old liberal, he's a marxist elitist. Writing as a former massachusetts Democrat, That party consists of farthest-left bolsheviks, Marxist-elitists, and useful idiots.

    Conservative Democrats are now Republicans, and moderate Democrats are now independents. I'm still registered Democrat because of my California neighborhood demographics, and the fact Republicans don't vandalize cars.

  11. There's a clear relationship between the development of the Lake Wobegon community and the Ron Swanson's everywhere. It just needs a little thought.

    People also laugh at me when I tell them I've used the same wooden comb for 20 years, just like Ron. It's's ok.

    1. Lake Wobegone is now 85% Somali and the Lutheran church has been turned into a mosque. Our Lady of the Perpetual Responsibility is still there serving the illegals from Latin American. The few Swedes left in the area avoid Lake Wobegone due to the hatred of the Somalis and Latin Americans and the high crime rate.