Women's March (or the Parade of Menopausal Actresses)

Screenwriter Roger L. Simon, proprietor of Pajamas Media, is puzzled over this weekend's Women's March in Washington.

And for good reason: the event made about as much sense politically as a peanut butter and petroleum jelly sandwich.

Simon wrote:

Ironically, these women's marches are strangely behind the times in today's America and therefore largely irrelevant, though the participants may not realize or acknowledge it.  More women have been going to college than men for several years and are just now surpassing them in law school as well. Hillary Clinton may have lost the election but women are well on track to win the war. Within a very few years, historically we may be living in a matriarchy of sorts. Instead of freaking out over an election, these women should relax and enjoy their coming power. It's manifested all over the Trump administration already in the persons of Kellyanne Conway (she could run for president herself -- and win) and Ivanka Trump (so could she).

That is a very good point. This was a failure logically, tactically, and politically.

So obviously, that was not the point. Madonna and her fellow celebrities are successful people. They failed politically, therefore, politics was not their point on Saturday.

Relevance was. Let me explain this in a language that Simon understands.

Cinema.

Gloria Swanson was 51 when she played Norma Desmond, the reclusive silent film star, in the 1950 film "Sunset Boulevard." In real life, she was a silent movie star who made the transition to talkies, but whose age -- not her voice -- got the better of her.

Swanson did not need the movie. She was rich, and enjoying her life.

She was not Norma Desmond living in the past in a mansion on Sunset Boulevard. That was just a role.

Swanson had moved on to television and lived in New York. They talked her into it, and yes, as George Cukor promised her, that is the role for which she is remembered.

And that was what Swanson wanted and got -- relevance. I'm writing about a movie star who made her screen debut more than a century ago, to explain a political event this weekend.

Eat your heart out, Mary Astor.

Madonna is 58, seven years older than Swanson was when "Sunset Boulevard" premiered. Madonna made the transition to the Internet, but her age -- not her voice -- got the better of her.

Her "Sunset Boulevard" was the Women's March on Saturday.

Like a teen with a contraband pack of smokes, she launched into a profanity-laced speech, as she tried to make herself relevant to a generation that spends half its time looking at its iPhone, the other half posing for it.

In short, mini-Madonnas.

What do they need her for? If they want a role model, they have the Kardashians, who come in many other sizes and are more interesting.

Madonna did show that 30 years later she can still squeeze into her wardrobe from "Who's That Girl?"

Ashley Judd, 48, was at the show as well. 

The débutantes of yesteryear who pushed the envelop sexually two generations ago are back now as doyennes protesting the sexual exploitation of women -- while preaching to a crowd that features women dressed as vaginas.

The scenario is so absurd that Salvador Dali would refuse to paint it, and Federico Fellini would refuse to film it.

And yet, here we are, America.

But be of good cheer. Bismarck was right. The angels keep watch over children, drunks, and the United States of America.

Feminist politics is theater therapy for little old ladies like Meryl Streep and Cher.

Fortune and fame are not enough. They never are.

Madonna and her friends are ready for their close-ups, Mister Simon.

Oh give it to them.

@@@

Please read "Trump the Press," in which I skewer media experts who wrongly predicted Trump would lose the Republican nomination. "Trump the Press" is available as a paperback, and on Kindle.

It covers the nomination process only. The general election will be covered in a sequel, "Trump the Establishment."

For an autographed copy, email me at DonSurber@GMail.com

Be deplorable. Follow me on Twitter.