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Monday, January 22, 2018

CNN: Trump left us vulnerable to an asteroid attack

CNN presenter Don Lemon on March 19, 2014: A black hole may have swallowed up that missing Malaysian airliner.

CNN presenter Jake Tapper: Hold my beer.



Tapper on Friday said the government shutdown might leave the United States unprotected from a sneak attack by a swarm of asteroids.

Ahead of a commercial break, Tapper told viewers:
"Stick around. We have a lot more to talk about. Beyond the political impact, of course, there's the real world effort, the fact of a government shutdown, even an out of this word impact from paychecks to the search for Earth-killing asteroids. What happens when the nation's largest employer closes?"
Once he returned, CNN reporter Tom Foreman told him about the 2013 shutdown.
FOREMAN: "In space that same year, for more than two weeks, NASA reportedly stopped monitoring potentially dangerous asteroids. A big one, by the way, is expected to brush by Earth on February 4th."
Oh no. Without "the nation's largest employer" to protect us from Earth-killing asteroids, we are doomed on February 4.

Damn you, Donald Trump!

Of course, I am not really sure what the United States can do if it detects an "Earth-killing asteroid" headed our way.

Maybe we can send Clint Eastwood, Tommy Lee Jones, and Donald Sutherland into space with some dynamite to blow up the "Earth-killing asteroid."

Once a respected journalist at ABC News, Tapper has taken to phoning it in at CNN. Maybe when Jeff Zucker leaves to head ESPN, the Childish Nonsense Network will return to journalism.

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14 comments:

  1. return? return?

    I guess I missed the journalism part with CNN. Was that back 30 years ago or so when they had a Baghdad bureau?

    Also, it might be prudent to spend, say 10% of the amount wasted on Global Warming to improve asteroid detection systems and implement a defense. That is, to ounter, you know, a real existential threat.

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    1. I think we should look into relocating agencies like the FBI, ATF, EPA, and Education onto the next passing asteroid.

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  2. Remind me again, was that CNN Baghdad operation called "The Walter Duranty Memorial Bureau"?

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  3. Of course, I am not really sure what the United States can do if it detects an "Earth-killing asteroid" headed our way.

    Speaking as a retired bona-fide rocket scientist, I'll tell you.

    Nothing at all. And since most of these objects aren't even noticed until they've already passed by and are receding into the distance again, we won't even have time to print up picture postcards of the big event.

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    Replies
    1. Damn! I was so looking forward to those lovely "ladies" in their pussy hats being able to force it to change course.

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    2. Hahaha John! If they all think really hard, and wave their C placards (Chris Plante was at the rally and said there were multiple displays of female genitalia signs, including pussy hat t-shirts for $20 a pop), they'll turn this country around. This is yet another reason why men are indispensable to this country.

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    3. LOL, surely someone with the handle "Tom Swift" can think of something!

      Wasn't this question solved in, "Tom Swift and the Atomic Earth Blaster?" If not, we better check to see if Clint Eastwood & crew have an opening in their schedule!

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  4. CNN: Destroying its credibility every hour of every day!

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  5. Did Tapper assign blame for the shutdown?
    JimNorCal

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  6. While it is true some of the effort to search for and keep track of Near Earth Objects is carried out in NASA facilities that are closed during the partial government shutdown, not all of this work is suspended. A good part of it is conducted by university scientists who are funded by their own institutions as well as by long-term NASA grants and so will remain unaffected by a temporary shutdown. So, no, we earthlings will not be blindsided by alien visitors from outer space any more during this time period than at any other time.

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  7. More like a career-killing asteroid, because doing one of those types of movie is a sure sign in Hollywood that one’s careee has gone belly-up.

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  8. Other nations have space monitoring. All we really need to do is keep an eye on France. If they hoist a white flag big enough to be visible from space.... We know we are doomed.

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  9. You've misspelled Fake's name.

    Fake Tapper

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