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Friday, July 07, 2017

Stump the Press

Welcome to "Stump the Press," presented as a public service to readers of the Don Surber Blog in which a panel of journalists face the same tediously trivial questions they ask their guests.

The questions are fake. The answers are real.

Our host is the ghost of Lawrence Spivak.

GHOST OF SPIVAK: Mister Todd, why are Trump's tweets mocking you and the rest of the press bad?

CHUCK TODD: "If these actions and this language was being used by a leader in a different country, our State Department would be saying ‘That country is inching towards authoritarianism.' Because that’s usually the first sign: when you try to delegitimize a free press."

GHOST OF SPIVAK: And what did you say about him on January 25, 2015?

CHUCK TODD: "Nobody's going to mistake Donald Trump for a presidential candidate, I don't think, other than Donald Trump these days."

GHOST OF SPIVAK: And what was your first question of him when you interviewed him seven months later?

CHUCK TODD: "Are we on a reality show now?"

GHOST OF SPIVAK: And what was your prediction on October 8, 2016?

CHUCK TODD: “Right now you have every Republican now deciding it’s every Republican for themselves. It’s ‘save the party.’ It’s ‘save the Senate majority and the House majority.' Every Republican I’ve talked to that isn’t in Trump Tower has essentially said the presidential race is over.”

GHOST OF SPIVAK: You have been wrong, dismissive, and disrespectful of him for so long, why should he show you any respect?


GHOST OF SPIVAK: Thank you, Sleepy Eyes, I mean Mister Todd. Now to you, Mister Stelter of CNN. What did you think of Sean Hannity's interview of Donald Trump on August 6, 2016?

BRIAN STELTER: “Here, let me show you how not to interview a candidate about something as serious as this.”

GHOST OF SPIVAK: Please be more specific.

BRIAN STELTER: “Interviewers, even the ones that support the person they’re interviewing, have an obligation to probe further and push back when a candidate says something dangerous, and this is dangerous. Suggesting an election is going to be stolen? This is third world dictatorship stuff.”

GHOST OF SPIVAK: And what did you say in an interview with Julia Ioffe after the election about challenging the result?

BRIAN STELTER:"Let's go there. Let's go there directly. I mean, here's something I've been asking myself. Julia, we're talking about a candidate who's lost in a historic way in terms of the popular vote but clearly won in the Electoral College. Is this something of a national emergency? And are journalists afraid to say so because they're going to sound partisan?"

GHOST OF SPIVAK: Thank you, Einstein, I mean Mister Stelter. That's all we have time for today. And by time for, I mean stomach for.

Caution: Readers occasionally may laugh out loud at the media as they read this account of Trump's nomination.

It is available on Kindle, and in paperback.

Caution: Readers occasionally may laugh out loud at the media as they read this account of Trump's election.

It is available on Kindle, and in paperback.

Autographed copies of both books are available by writing me at

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  1. That's some clever stuff there boss.

  2. A little Friday afternoon mirth. Next up: Trump's speech in Warsaw

  3. Toad's the name. Chuck Toad. He prefers his news shaken and he'll do the stirring; he has a license to lie.

  4. Sometimes I believe that there are so many people who need to be introduced to the business end of a baseball bat.

  5. Pretty good imitation of LS Don. Straight as an arrow and undeflected. His ghost has not chosen reincarnate in any of his professional ancestors.

    1. Descendants, not ancestors, Anon, but we know what you meant.