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Friday, July 14, 2017

Notes from HuffPost visit to America

HuffPost -- calling it by its old name, Huffington Post, is transbrandingophobic -- sent some of its staff to visit people in America who live outside of Manhattan and the D.C. area.

So far they are off to a good start.

Just this morning they visited a diner on Route 66.

HuffPoser 1: Good morning, person west of civilization. How was your sleep phase?

HuffPoser 2: Yes, restaurant cleric. We would like to order nourishment for our first partaking of the day: shredded swine flesh, fried chicken embryos, and extract of citrus!

HuffPoser 1: Please, Earthling, um, person with a rouge connection between head and torso, interact with me verbally so that I may better acquaint myself with your ignorance, cultural depravity, and your political superstitions.

HuffPoser 2: We are just like you. We are parental units to several progeny.

HuffPoser 1: I am not condescending or sarcastic. Your positive perception of me is vital to my existence.

HuffPoser 2: We are just like you. We consume mass quantities of liquids containing fermented sugars derived from cereal grain starches.

I would say this is going splendidly.




Caution: Readers occasionally may laugh out loud at the media as they read this account of Trump's election.

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Caution: Readers occasionally may laugh out loud at the media as they read this account of Trump's nomination.

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16 comments:

  1. It sounds like the Coneheads: "We are from France." There's some pretty good ones over at Twitchy, too: http://twitchy.com/brettt-3136/2017/07/13/advance-team-of-journalists-left-literally-shaking-after-scouting-run-for-huffpointheheartland-tour/?utm_campaign=twitchywidget

    - Elric

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Perzactly! Don hath channeled Dan Ackroyd perfectly.

      Delete
  2. I held my nose and linked to the HuffPo article. They are visiting such conservative cities as Detroit, St. Louis, Memphis, Oxford MS, Asheville NC, Albuquerque and New Orleans. Surprisingly, they are also going to Charleston WV, Ft. Banning GA, Odessa TX and Casper WY.

    I am sure they will hear just what they want to hear.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'm old enough to remember when Asheville actually was a conservative place. Now it's full of so-called "progressives".

      Delete
    2. St. Louis is not a conservative town. It is run by Dimocrats. GOC

      Delete
  3. Charleston is not a conservative town.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah, but that hardly counts against a bastion of conservatism like Detroit!

      Delete
  4. I heard they were going to Hillary Cities in Trump States - probably to figure out ways to cheat next time

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You mean HiLlARy cemeteries in Trump states.

      Delete
  5. HuffPoser 1: Yes, Citizen of the Wasteland, we HuffPosers are vegetarians and we eat vegetables.

    HuffPoser 2: What's that you say, Wastelander? "We'all are humanitarians"."

    ReplyDelete
  6. Deliverance Meets Children of the Corn.

    ReplyDelete
  7. answer the bastards on twitter w/these tags

    #ListenToAmerica
    #LiberalHypocrisy
    #LiberalStupidity

    make them climb the twitterverse

    ReplyDelete
  8. Holey crap, they are coming to west Texas. Odessa is on an interstate, but it's not I-35. They may need an interpreter when they get to the oil patch.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It's OK; they'll be fair to Midland, but downright ROTTEN to Odessa.

      Delete
  9. I'm guessing they won't go to Northeastern Montana, where a county seat might have less than 300 people.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. They would never be seen or heard from again if they went to the Williston basin.

      Delete