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Monday, October 24, 2016

CNN's improbable history

With AT&T's purchase of Time-Warner likely to get a swift OK from Obama, we should remember that its oldest property is CNN, which originally stood for Caveman News Network. With its sale, let us trip down memory lane with the stories that made CNN what it is today.

What inspired me to go through CNN's old stories was this headline from
CNN 1775: George Washington hates women. King George III has the only sensible economic plan for the colonies.
If it is on the Internet, it must be true.

Other stories I found online:

CNN 32 AD: Populist from Nazareth brings out Romophobia in uneducated fishermen.

CNN 443: Xenophobes wrongly blame all Huns for Attila's actions.

CNN 1502: Republicans waste time investigating another Lucrezia Borgia conspiracy.

CNN 1623: Fact check: Experts say Galileo wrong about Earth revolving around the Sun.

CNN 1735: Legal experts say Zenger's use of the truth as a defense in a libel case sets a dangerous precedent.

CNN 1860: Ending slavery will ruin U.S. economy and imperil jobs in the North.

CNN 1865: Democrats blame Lincoln's harsh rhetoric for his assassination.

CNN 1932: Members of the Centre Party distance themselves from Hindenburg after remarks.

CNN 1964: If Barry Goldwater is elected, we will have 500,000 soldiers in Vietnam in two years.

CNN 2000: Al Gore wins Florida and the presidency.


Please read "Trump the Press," a fun romp through the Republican nomination that uses the deadliest weapon to skewer the media experts: their own words. "Trump the Press" is available as a paperback, and on Kindle.


  1. The uneducated fishermen bit reminded me: fish was the most expensive food in the Roman empire. It follows that anyone in the business was not necessarily poor or ignorant. Note that Peter owned his own house and could return there after spending extended periods with Jesus safe in the knowledge that nothing serious would have occurred in his absence. His boats and home, as well as his income stream were likely all intact, indicating that his wife or a senior employee was still running things. Also, while people were raising money to be used in the churches, presumably for poor relief, no mention is made about raising funds for Peter to go to Rome. And we need not likely wonder if he'd been there before. He was not as simple as we make him out to be. One consideration, too in his denial of Christ may not have been for his personal safety but for his business.

  2. I think I should at more. Despite the fact that the Romans were in charge, Palestine remained deeply Hellenized after Alexander and the Seleucids. Greek culture, despite the fact that it was heavily commercialized, looked down on people who worked for a living in spite of the fact that they could be fabulously successful. This could very well have been the case with Peter.

    1. Say more, not at more. Damn autocorrect.

    2. The average Judean (Jew) hated the Greeks. The Greeks defiled the Temple and forbade Jewish religious practice. It is said that a Jew would rather have a daughter become a prostitute than have a son who spoke Greek. - Elric

    3. Yet the use of the Greek language and educational methods were widespread. St. Paul was educated in a Greek gymnasium. All of the New Testament except for the book of Matthew was originally written in Greek, despite the fact that Christianity and the early Church Fathers were themselves Jewish.

    4. The Aramaic Peshitta was written in the language of the apostles before translation into Greek. That is why many words in the Greek version are untranslated from the Aramaic. Many Aramaic idioms have been poorly translated into Greek causing not a little confusion. The so-called apostle Paul (by his own appointment) was a Pharisee and persecuted the early "Christian" church (Messianic Jews). He was known to them as "The Spouter of Lies" and "The Pourer Out of Lies Over Israel." Paul and his greek-speaking ilk did succeed in the end - the Romans killed everybody (Jews and Messianic Jews alike) and destroyed the Temple, thus leaving "Pauline" Christianity the winner. - Elric

  3. So, is this a sneak peek into the format of Don's next big opus, "Don Surber's Improbable History of the 2016 Election"?

  4. Bullwinkla J. Mousse as President? Say it ain't so, Rocky! Now THERE'S a woman who belongs in a Fractured Fairy Tale.

    Tune back in next week when Huckleberry Hound reveals his long term relationship with Rock Hudson.