All errors should be reported to

Monday, September 19, 2016

What Bill may have told The Donald

As he sat in his marble-and-gold penthouse atop Trump Tower in May 2015 contemplating whether he should run for president, Donald Trump took a phone call from former President Clinton.

Former president Bill Clinton had a private telephone conversation in late spring with Donald Trump at the same time that the billionaire investor and reality-television star was nearing a decision to run for the White House, according to associates of both men.
Four Trump allies and one Clinton associate familiar with the exchange said that Clinton encouraged Trump’s efforts to play a larger role in the Republican Party and offered his own views of the political landscape.
Clinton’s personal office in New York confirmed that the call occurred in late May, but an aide to Clinton said the 2016 race was never specifically discussed and that it was only a casual chat.
Casual chat. Maybe they were discussing their grandchildren, just as Bill discussed them with Loretta Lynch on that tarmac just before the attorney general exonerated his wife, his daughter, and him in the State secrets and Clinton Foundation mess. 

Now the Never Trump crowd (they still exist just as global warming believers do) insisted this was proof that the fix was in. Trump would run, win the nomination, and throw the race to Clinton.

If true, he is pretty damned lousy at throwing a race.

From the story:
The 42nd president listened intently and then analyzed Trump’s prospects and his desire to rouse the GOP base, the Trump allies said.
The tone of the call was informal, and Clinton never urged Trump to run, the four people said. Rather, they said, Clinton sounded curious about Trump’s moves toward a presidential bid and told Trump that he was striking a chord with frustrated conservatives and was a rising force on the right.
One person with knowledge of Clinton’s end of the call said the former president was upbeat and encouraging during the conversation, which occurred as Trump was speaking out about GOP politics and his prescriptions for the nation.
Bill called The Donald.

That tells me two things. One, Bill knew Trump was considering a run for president, which means Bill had good sources and was concerned about the race. Two, Bill wanted to talk to Trump.

The rest of this post is pure, idle speculation -- for amusement purposes only.

BILL: Hey Donald, how are things in Xanadu.

DONALD: Never been better. I suppose you called to try to talk me out of running for president.

BILL (nervous laugh): No, I am no good at that. If I were good, Hillary wouldn't be running.


BILL: Just a joke. (Then whispers) No, I am serious.


BILL: It's a long story. Goes back to when we were at Yale. I knew I needed money and contacts outside of Arkansas to get to the White House. We shacked up and she paid for everything.

DONALD: I see.

BILL: Took me a while to realize that I was a beard for her.

DONALD: Well, she went to a Seven Sisters school and I hear they experiment.

BILL: She liked it. Anyway, it was not a bad life. I got to pursue all the tail I wanted and like I said, she helped me politically. I took her back to Arkansas and we came up with a plan. I would run for attorney general, governor, and then president. Then she would succeed me.

DONALD: And so here we are.

BILL: Except for one thing. She's incompetent. Seriously. As attorney general, I set her up with a no-show job at Rose Law Firm and she blew it. I realized she would be a disaster as a candidate, which is why I limited her appearances over the years. But I made a pact with a she-devil. She would be a terrible president. 

DONALD: What? Wait.

BILL: You gotta run, Donald, for the sake of the country. She will win if you don't. She will roll over the competition. Sixteen dwarfs. Jeb is Sleepy. Perry is Dopey. Rubio is Empty. Carly is Ugly. And Cruz is Crazy.

DONALD: You pulling my chain?

BILL: She was a disaster as secretary of State. And she is sick. Freezes up. Frequently. We call it dehydration, but it is something else and she won't see a doctor.

DONALD: So you want me to run? That yuuge.

BILL: Obi-Wan Kenobi, you're my only hope. Bigly.

DONALD (silent).

BILL: I told the same thing to Barack eight years ago. I cannot help you, of course, but I have been known to gaffe, if you know what I mean.

DONALD: Thanks. I'll think about it.


There is no speculation, but my new book, "Trump the Press," is a fun read that details how the experts missed the rise of Trump. Remember how they said Trump was just running to help Hillary? Read the reviews in the right column.

Please purchase "Trump the Press" through Create Space.

The book also available in Kindle and as a paperback on Amazon.

Autographed copies area available. Email me at for details.


  1. Lol. That would be one SNL skit I'd be willing to stay up late and watch.

  2. Replies
    1. Along the same line as Phil Hartman's "Reagan Mastermind" skit.

      -Mikey NTH

  3. The Mos Eisley Cantina scene. It's all going on inside Hillary's Head.

  4. He probably wanted someone who could get somebody like Grahamnesty the nomination by knocking out all the other aspirants.

    He can certainly kiss his aspirant good-bye now.

  5. Considering that prior to their race Kennedy and Nixon were good friends, this is about as much news as a clear day in Arizona.
    That the never Trump crowd want to make it a big issue is only a problem if they have a base which they don't. Their support and HiLlARy's could share an auditorium... a Small auditorium.

  6. The concept of closet allies secretly conspiring to appear hostile towards one another in public has fascinated me ever since (I think) Bret Hart collaborated with Vince McMahon over the World Wrestling Entertainment's Montreal Screwjob.

    I haven't forgotten this post over the intervening three months. I love the dialogue. It's plausible-sounding. But as a conspiracy theory, how does it look now, three months later on December 28, 2016?

    Maybe not as good as it should look. In the real world, WJC seems to be genuinely bitter over his wife's defeat, though of course, like most liars, he's a very good actor.

    But reflecting on it further, putting his country's welfare over his own will back into power and his family's wouldn't be his style.

    - Mark S.