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Wednesday, August 24, 2016

The secret Never Trump pledge

Never Trumpers take the high moral ground in their opposition to Trump. This weekend, I acquired a copy of the pledge they take on that high moral ground on which they glide.

Here is the Never Trump pledge.

I (state your name) do solemnly pledge my allegiance to True Conservatism as determined by the National Review, the tax-exempt think tanks many of its writers work for, and Sir Rupert Murdoch through his various media holdings such as the Wall Street Journal and Fox News. I will do everything in my power to trip up Trump, even if it means re-tweeting links to Huffington Post, the Washington Post, and Michael Moore.

I make this vow fully knowing that if successful, Never Trump will result in the election of a woman who has aided and abetted rapists, including her husband; and, 
a woman whose lies got her fired from the Watergate committee;
a woman who used her husband's elected position as attorney general of Arkansas to land a job at the Rose Law Firm;
a woman who accepted $100,000 under the ruse of capital gains from cattle futures;
a woman who helped her husband acquire an illegal $300,000 loan as governor from the Madison Guaranty Savings and Loan in the Whitewater land scam;
a woman who as first lady illegally fired the White House travel office staff;
a woman who aided and abetted the sexual harassment of Paula Jones to the point where she and her husband had to pay every cent Miss Jones sought in her lawsuit, just to avoid trial;
a woman who stole White House furniture;
a woman who set up a server in her bathroom to avoid FOIA requests of her emails at the Department of State, and then opened thousands of state secrets to our adversaries; and finally,
a woman who laundered foreign bribes disguised as charitable donations to the Clinton Foundation, which served as her campaign-in-waiting.
However, I will disavow any aiding and abetting the election of a woman who would sell out the country for thirty pieces of silver because I am a candy-ass.

Furthermore, I pledge allegiance to stopping Trump knowing that this is passive-aggressive support for a woman who helped Iran get nuclear weaponry, sent soldiers to two wars which she later disavowed, and helped recruit thousands of Islamic State terrorists by destabilizing governments in Egypt, Libya, and elsewhere.

Finally, I pledge to stop the only man who can prevent Hillary Clinton from stacking the Supreme Court with people who will assist her in liquidating the Bill of Rights.

In so doing, I disavow everything I said I stood for previously -- including gun rights, the right to life, free speech, freedom of religion, and the sanctity of marriage -- in the faint hope of stopping her in 2020, and reversing the damage done, just like Reagan ended Medicaid and a Republican Congress rescinded Obamacare.

I do so because Trump says mean things, has bad hair, and once posed in a picture with the Clintons.


"Trump the Press: Don Surber's take on how the pundits blew the 2016 Republican race" is available as a paperback. Please order here.

The Kindle version is available here.

Autographed copies are available for $20 (includes shipping). Email me at


  1. Amen, brother.

    " the faint hope of stopping [The Harpy] in 2020..."

    I hear this argument on talk radio from people who claim to be "Republicans Against Trump" (RATs). "We will defeat Trump in 2016 and then run a real conservative in 2020 and defeat The Harpy in 2020." It makes absolutely no sense to me.

    After The Harpy and the GOPe collaborate to give voting rights to the 20 million or so illegals in the country today and another 20 million or so over the period 2017-2020, what makes anybody think that we will not vote as a country like California votes today?

    2016 is really our last chance.

    Steve in Greensboro

  2. Hahaha! Reminds me of the classic Dale Sr. quote: Y'all better soak some rags in gasoline and tie em around your legs to keep the ants from crawling up into your candy asses...

  3. And the Bush Clan says he is a BAD man!

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  5. They forgot the conspiracy to give the Russians control of 20 per cent of our uranium supply. - Elric

  6. Real proof of the cuckish hypocrisy of nevertrumpers is found in statements like, "Well, we survived eight years of Obama, so we can do the same with Hillary." They are completely OK with the progression of the ratchet. The lag part of liberalism on a lag is approaching zero seconds. The math now works out to where if you divide a liberal by a conservative the result is a unity. And these twerps think that if we lose with Trump that we will go back to voting for them?

    1. There is no path back from the Merkelization of America.

  7. The Never Trumper's pledge (was there a secret decoder ring as well?) reminds one the Battle of Traigh Ghruinneart.

    It was a Highland clan battle where a dwarf switches sides and kills the leader of the forces he originally was to fight for.

    The dwarf's name was Dubh Sith, which means "Black Fairy".

    You think I'm kidding, don't you? Google "Traigh Ghruinneart".

    1. Interesting story-I live in an area populated by families named in that story. The Campbell Mac Donald was fueled in that fight.
      BTW look up "Fairy Flag of the Mac Leods"
      Trump is 1/2 Mac Leod...

    2. One other thing-that Decoder ring says:
      "Drink more Ovaltine."

  8. Come on, Don; tell us how you REALLY feel.

  9. Love it Don, I think Mark Levin should read it out loud some evening to his remaining 23 liberal mental patient listeners.

  10. As a retired UAW conservative I like it when the UAW tells me who to vote for. Then I know who not to vote for. Did the never Trumpers ever think that any candidate they support will be shunned by Trump supporters?