They will unveil their creation at a news conference on Monday at the offices of The Weekly Standard, as the Democratic Party headquarters was already booked.
Called the JMC 2016, their creation is the world's first Cyber Candidate. It combines the best qualities of the nominees in 2008 and 2012, as well as the three establishment candidates.
Which means it has the energy of Jeb Bush, the humility of Ted Cruz, the uncompromising spine of Marco Rubio, the discipline of John McCain, and the loyalty of Mitt Romney.
Word has it that these five qualities will each be given a color and when their owners switch on their power rings, they will combine and become Jebbio McCruzney, Cyber Candidate -- the formal name of the JMC 2016.
It is powered by alternative energy -- burning hundreds of millions of dollar bills to keep its engine running until Election Day.
The JMC 2016 will be programmed to deliver the daily message (pre-screened by a focus group assembled daily by Frank Luntz) without a gaffe and without an ad lib. When a Democrat criticizes the JMC 2016, the candidate is programmed to immediately apologize and fire a staffer as a way to keep the peace between the two parties.
Best of all, the JMC 2016 will never make waves and never question free trade, call for deporting illegal aliens, or bring up terrorism. Instead it will stick to the same formula for winning that McCain and Romney used.
Sure, JMC 2016 will lose rather handily to Hillary because she has something the JMC 2016 does not have: determination. After all, its motto is "Honor Before Victory."
Besides, they did not create Jebbio McCruzney to win. They created it to stop Trump.
"Trump the Press: Don Surber's take on how the pundits blew the 2016 Republican race" is available as a paperback. Please order here.
The Kindle version is available here.
Autographed copies are available for $20 (includes shipping). Email me at DonSurber@GMail.com