Sunday, April 10, 2016
The Boston Globe ran a fake newspaper-within-the-newspaper on today, which raises a question:
What happened to journalism?
The faux front page was dated Sunday, April 9, 2017. The savants at the newspaper ran a banner headline: DEPORTATIONS TO BEGIN above the headline "President Trump calls for tripling ICE force; riots continue."
Now everyone on the Internet knows how serious we must take someone who comments IN ALL CAPITAL LETTERS.
The Globe is not a dying dead-tree dinosaur desperately trying to divert attention from its own demise. This is new new new journalism, in which journalists don't report hat happened yesterday but predict the future. (Can I have some theremin music here?) OK, the National Enquirer has had a series of seers over the years, but this time it is different because, well, a serious newspaper is doing it.
This changes everything.
Next week's edition of its Sunday newspaper will show what happens when America elects Hillary.
INVESTIGATIONS TO BEGIN. President Clinton calls for eliminating the FBI; looting continues.
The next week, we shall see what happens when we elected Bernie.
REDISTRIBUTION TO BEGIN. President Sanders calls for tripling the IRS; socialism continues.
Then we shall see what happens when we elect Cruz.
CANONIZATION TO BEGIN. President Cruz calls for morality police; affairs continue.
Lastly, we will see what life is like if we elect the governor of Ohio.
NOTHING TO BEGIN. President Kasich calls for balancing the budget; boredom continues.
Maybe I should vote for Kasich.
By the way, remember the Boston Globe mocking the possible election of Obama as president?
SURRENDER TO BEGIN. President Obama calls for abandoning Iraq; terrorism continues.