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Wednesday, August 26, 2015

Elvis and Almira Gulch, who the candidates really are

Liz Smith, who as a gossip columnist chronicled the lives of the rich and tacky, penned from retirement a missive in which she said she may have invented The Donald when she began covering him and Ivana 40 years ago. If so she did a fine job because I do not have to explain who they are. She wrote: "Donald became bigger and bigger. He was the king of hyperbole and he had just the requisite touch of Elvis vulgarity to endear him to the common man."

She wrote that in 2000.

Elvis. That's it. How did Alannah Myles put it? "Black velvet and that little boy's smile." Liz Smith is from Texas. She would know these things.

A former boss -- female -- said Clinton had that Elvis thing going for him. Kinda mischievous. Very sensual. She also graded candidates by their hair. Policy mattered to her, but a president has to have command presence, and hair. Ike got away with having none only because he won World War II (and ran against the high-domed Adlai Stevenson.

I do not know how to grade Trump's hair, but I doubt anyone else would get away with saying Megyn Kelly's questions came due to her time of month. Elvis vulgarity.

Ted Cruz has pretty eyes with Liz Taylor's double eyelashes, which the attending doctor at her birth pronounced as freakish, and Garry Trudeau later declared "violet eyes to die for."

Pretty eyes are for women. Next!

Oh I think we all know who Almira Gulch is. There is an unnecessary meanness in her that goes with a petty mind. Also, she's socially awkward.

Chris Christie reminds me of Lumpy Rutherford in "Leave It To Beaver." He's big and oafish and a bully.

Bernie Sanders is Howard Beale. He expects us to open our windows and scream, "I'm as mad as hell, and I'm not going to take this anymore!" Actually, his crowd is bored as hell, as they are people of privilege denouncing White Privilege.

Joe Biden? Bob Ueker -- except Ueker's stupidity is all an act.


  1. Trump never said ONE WORD about Megyn's menstrual cycle. He said she had blood coming out of her eyes. Then he paused and said what ever. No attempt to give her an excuse for being an evil bitch and that is EXACTLY what she is. She, not Trump owes the American people an apology. She went into the debate with one purpose, to destroy Trump. Why? Because she is a paid off hack of the Wall Street money changers. Trump is not wall street, he is main street. I'm still not sold on him, but he is a heck of a better choice than the Chamber of Communist's pick Jeb.
    I am sick to death with being spoon fed RINO candidates. There is big money behind all this. Soros said in 2012 that it did not matter who won, implying that he had pull, spelt M-o-n-e-y, with both candidates. I believe him. The GOP picks have stunk in recent years. Heck, even GWB was a liberal spender, and that is what handed the House back to the demonics, they mocked the GOP big spending. What happened to the Contract with America? Null and void.
    I liked Cruz, but his performance last night with a friendly handler, No, I did not watch it, only a video clip of the result. His performance SUCKED! Is he just another K street tool? I once thought he was a TEA party republican, not a GOPe puppet.
    Ben Carson moved up a notch for me.
    As for Ms Kelly, my telly has an off switch, and that is where it sets when she is on.

  2. Bob Uecker might be our next president?
    2012 was the election that mattered. Next president will preside over the funeral.